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The Helbertian Formulation of Adeledicnander

                 The Helbertian Formulation of Adeledicnander   On occasion I have used the word ‘helbertian’ in my SF stories. This is because when I subscribed to Analog, they sometimes sent me a magazine addressed to Nathaniel Helbertian. I figured that a helbertian is a wave operator in quantum mechanics.   When I subscribed to F&SF, they sometimes sent me a magazine addressed to N Helleretti. I figure that the Helleretti is a tribe of mischievous sprites. Now, just what kind of wave operator is a Helbertian? I have decided, for story purposes, that the Helbertian measures the intelligence of an elementary particle. You can also call it the energy of the particle’s mindfield. This makes the Helbertian fundamental to the theory of Electron Psychology, a.k.a. Adeledicnander, as cited in the A.E. Van Vogt story, “Far Centaurus”. The Helbertian formulation of adeledicnander echoes the Hamiltonian formulation of quan...
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How Daylight Savings Time Was Invented

How Daylight Savings Time Was Invented               You may have heard this story about how Daylight Savings Time was invented; one summer morning in Paris, Benjamin Franklin awoke to find summer sunlight streaming through the window. Shocked by this waste of sunlight, he resolved to set the clock ahead one hour in the middle of spring, and one hour back in the middle of fall. Frugal old Ben calculated that this system, which he called “Daylight Savings Time”, would save a huge amount of candle-usage in the summer evenings.           True enough, but economies there may be diseconomies elsewhere, such as in the winter evening. Daylight Savings Time is like sewing a foot of cloth to the top of your bedsheet – cut from the bottom of your bedsheet. Is Daylight Savings Time penny-wise, pound-foolish?           I would like to clarify a l...
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Heroic Eve

                 Heroic Eve             In this fairy-tale critique I propose that Eve did the right thing. I admit that I cannot prove this, but I have faith.           I refer to Eve from the Book of Genesis, as understood by popular thought in Western culture. Here I take the legend on its own terms, as befits fairy-tale critique; but I myself do not read the tale literally.           To me Genesis is a fairy tale, but I don’t mind; I’ve written fairy tales myself. A fairy tale is a lie that tells a deeper truth. This distinguishes it from propaganda, which is a lie that tells a deeper lie. So a fairy tale differs from propaganda by how the reader takes the tale.           The deeper lie in the common reading of Genesis is that Eve did somethi...
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Alternate History

                 Alternate History             A Time Traveler rode his space-time machine back to 1890, armed with historical data and impressive techno-tricks. His aim was to split off an alternate time-line without the “Great War”, a.k.a. World War One. Upon arrival he quickly made his presence and nature known; but preventing the suicide of a civilization was not that easy, even for a Time Traveler with two decade’s head-start.           At one point, exasperated by a visitor’s absurd imperialism, he burst out:           “What, are you pumping me for data? Your little empire wants an edge over all the other little empires? You want unstoppable power from the super-science of the far future? All right then, God damn you, listen up!   E EQUALS M C SQUARED!   There, I said it! And ...
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Systems of Politesse

Systems of Politesse   The trouble with PC is that it’s a system of politesse, and like all such systems, it is a stupid, absurd, arbitrary, and hypocritical imposition by clueless self-righteous elites. (I call this observation the “Brat’s Whinge”.) But on the other hand, some such system, however stupid and hypocritical, is necessary for the survival of civilized manners. (I call that observation the “Dotard’s Wheeze”.) Both Brat’s Whinge and Dotard’s Wheeze are correct. And really people don’t mind doing the idiotic humility rituals, as long as those idiotic rituals don’t waste too much time, and don’t change too much from year to year. But people hate to memorize a new list of taboos.           Pro tip: Never accidentally insult anyone who matters. And they get to say what’s insulting. But who matters changes with the circulation of aristocracies.      
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Abiotarians

          Abiotarians             Awhiles back I read a blog discussing veganism and vegetarianism. I wrote in to say that there are many entirely logical arguments for it (health, economic, etc.) but the moralism around it is sentimental. I asked; why valorize animals over plants? I called it “neurochauvinism”. This got me to thinking. Could it be possible to one-up the Vegans? Here’s my scenario:           The Space Marines find a way to ‘live off the land’; namely, the Artificial Food Machine. You feed it some dirty ice from a comet or an ice-moon; it processes that into a bland fibrous nutritious paste. Fibrous for regularity, of course, and it has every essential nutrient. The machine has no biological components; for the admirals did not want their troops’ life-support system to itself need a life-support system.    ...
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