Paradox Point

          A Farewell to Hemlock               I, Diogenes, have at last been shooed away from the College of San Hemlock. I got an email saying:           “Hello.         We hope this note finds you in good health and that you may enjoy a long future of further retirement happiness.         I am writing this email to ask you to come to CSH to clear out your office space in Bldg 13, room 23. The office has been assigned to someone else, so you need to pick up your belongings ASAP but no later than the second Thursday from now. All remaining items will be discarded the next day.         Please return your district keys and ID badge to me.         Alma”   My first thought was; my badge?...

          Time for IT             When I, Diogenes, came to work at the College of San Hemlock, I knew the place was enthralled by dark conjurations; but little did I know the dread truth about the source of those conjurations. The reality proved to be appalling and shameful.           The trouble started with Daylight Savings Time. I personally think Daylight Savings Time is a terrible idea; its savings are conjectural, and its costs are real; disturbed sleep cycles, equipment disarray. For most places it’s the break in sleep cycles that gets you; readjusting clocks is a menial but reliable chore. But not at the College of San Hemlock!           For at the College of San Hemlock, the clocks are centrally controlled by computer! As are the locks and the heating and the urinals and whatnot; every...

         Solar Blast Shielding              Once the weather was hot and humid at the College of San Hemlock. What’s worse, the room that I, Diogenes, teach in has big south-facing windows letting in scalding-hot sunlight. Fortunately some of the lower windows open up; and there are big white curtains to roll down, which blocks most of the light and heat. But not all; and what’s worse, when all the way down the curtains block the open windows. I had a dilemma. Shall I open the windows and roll up the curtains enough for ventilation, but also let in some sun-blast; or instead roll the curtains all the way down and block both sunlight and ventilation? On Monday I tried a technical fix. I brought in some tape and a roll of aluminum foil, and taped the foil (shiny side outwards) to the lower windows. That way I could open the windows, then raise the curtains just enough, and so get both shade (better ...