The Long Introduction

The Long Introduction

 

Well, I have sort of a poem here;

it’s called “The Long Introduction”

but I’d like to explain it a bit first

and apologize in advance to everybody here

for this miserable poem’s obvious faults

‘cause you see, I’m no good at reading to crowds

or reading to myself, either

or reading, period

let alone writing,

let alone writing poetry

let alone writing poetry

for literate, sophisticated, brilliant

almost godlike people like you

who are surely offended by my harsh voice

my ludicrous apparel

and my obvious lack of preparation;

and you know this poem will make you suffer

because I suffered so much to write it;

my computer crashed, and so did my brain;

my typewriter jammed, and so did my thoughts;

my pencil snapped, and so did my mind;

so perhaps I’d better stammer awhile

about when and where and who and what and how and why

I decided to write this awful poem;

but now I hear you shifting in your chairs;

you are contemplating exodus, suicide or murder

so I’d better break into awkward song

and put this so-called poem out of its misery

but not before I apologize thoroughly in advance

just to be on the safe side

so please listen, folks; I’m sorry.

I’m sorry if this poem offends you.

I’m sorry if this poem doesn’t offend you.

I’m sorry if this poem stinks.

I’m sorry if this poem is great.

I’m sorry that I read this poem.

I’m sorry that I wrote this poem.

And what’s more, you’re sorry too.